I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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