You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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