Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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