He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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