Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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