Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize