the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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