I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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