Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
