Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
