Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
