I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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