I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
