Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize