Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
