You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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