I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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