I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
