I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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