More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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