batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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