We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
