Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
