She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
