And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize