Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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