Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
