So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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