Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
