Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
