btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
