She announced her abortion via fbk
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
