dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize