you guys were way drunker than both of me
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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