just come out here and I will go home with you...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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