I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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