I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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