My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
