I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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