I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize