1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
