just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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