the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
