yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize