am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
