You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
