i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize