Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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