You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
