Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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