Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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