What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
