These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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