I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
