you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
