i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
